Perfection

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Perfection

It's something we all strive for.  Especially us women.  We want perfect bodies, perfect personalities, perfect amount of sexiness and innocence.  We hack at our bodies controlling strictly what we eat, how much we exercise, what products we use in our hair, perfecting our makeup, fixing our wardrobe.  Countless hours are spent in front of our mirrors critiquing, criticizing, tearing apart, and hating what we see.

Guys do the same thing.  Our culture is obsessed with "beauty".  A very specific beauty.  One only the young can attain.  One only those who sacrifice painfully can achieve (did you know there is now a size 00?).  A beauty superficial and broken.  And we all know it...yet we still try to reach it regardless!

Media sells us these "perfect women" who aren't even perfect!! It makes me angry.  Furious.  Women are told that we should be unsatisfied with ourselves until we can reach something that is unattainable.  That we won't be accepted until perfection is reached.  How can we expect depression, eating disorders, and low self-esteem to be conquered if our society won't allow it?

How do we counter culture?

By picking something (Someone) who's above the power of culture.  Jesus.  Allowing ourselves to look through His eyes will enable us to love ourselves.  Refusing a broken society with broken views, and embracing the only True Perfection.
Song of Solomons 4:9 "⁷ You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

**Inspiration for this blog came from my Visual Rhetoric class at Western.  We watched this video (note there are some pretty graphic images). I encourage you to check it out!! Then after, punch society in the face.** 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47qkz0IT7IM 

You Are Definitely Worth It

Ahhh...I'm sorry. I apologize for the insane delay in this second half of my last blog post. Whoops. Here I go. Like I said before, writing this blog has been pretty difficult. How can I write on something I still struggle with on an almost daily basis? But God has provided me with huge steps in the right direction, and I want to share those with you.

Every person has different hurts, different scars, different past experiences that shape who they are.  But too often they all equal the same thing: pain. The pains can be very different. I don't know what it's like to experience my parents go through a divorce, but I do understand abandonment of a different kind. The thing is, pain is pain. Whether its your head, your back, your ankle, your stomach. It all hurts.

1.) First......you've got to recognize that pain is there. You can't diagnose what's broken if you won't admit that you feel something is wrong in the first place.  Understand that you hurt and that it's okay to hurt.  Quit hating yourself for hating yourself.  Jeremiah, David, Jesus. They all cried out in pain and were not ashamed to do so. (Read Psalms, Jeremiah, and Lamentations if you want to see how some of these men dealt with their emotional pain) 
Lamentations 3:55-57 ⁵⁵ But I called on your name, Lord, from deep within the pit. ⁵⁶ You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading! Hear my cry for help!” ⁵⁷ Yes, you came when I called; you told me, “Do not fear.” (NLT) 

2.) Second...you have to want healing. "Wait. Why wouldn't I want to feel better?" Sometimes we enjoy wallowing in our pain without even knowing it. Trust me, I do.  We bask in self-pity; we tell ourselves life's not fair, it will never get better, we will always be broken.  The path to healing isn't easy, you have to want it. Not wanting just happiness or satisfaction in ourselves, wanting true healing and satisfaction in Christ. 
Hosea 7:14 ¹⁴ They do not cry out to me with sincere hearts. Instead, they sit on their couches and wail. They cut themselves[or they gather together], begging foreign gods for grain and new wine, and they turn away from me. (NLT)

3.) Third...get close to Jesus.  Learn who He Is. Learn the way He sees you. Learn His amazing grace, so that even with our faults, even when we can't accept ourselves, He still longs to hold us.  Ask Him to change the way you see yourself and others.  Get into the Word. Get into daily conversations (prayer!).  He wants you!!! Try wanting Him too. 
Jeremiah 29:12-14 ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” (NLT)

4.) Fourth...be patient and be willing to work.  Learning to love yourself is not easy and I have never seen an instant fix-it. (Though God can do whatever He wants!) Often Jesus lets us grow the hard, long way so that we can learn and help others through the same things.  I would not take any part of my life back (even though some of it I would never wish on anyone) because it has shaped me to the woman of God I am now.
 Philippians 1:6 ⁶ And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)

I'm not Jesus, not a counselor, not even a certified pastor (yet.) but this is what I've learned in my short 19 years on this earth**. I've still got a long ways to go in learning to love myself completely, but I've never been so satisfied with my body, my face, my abilities, my talents, myself. I pray every day that you to can love yourself the way Christ loves you.

I've still got so stinking much to write on this subject!! But I'll save it for another day. :) 

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ⁸ We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. ⁹ We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. ¹⁰ Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. (NLT)

***If your struggling with self-hate that causes you to want to quit life, hurt yourself, or hurt others, please PLEASE talk to a pastor, a counselor, a trusted someone of wisdom. Those thoughts are not normal and you don't have to fight them alone. You can always e-mail me jandruk@comcast.net. I know many amazing people who would love to talk to you, and I know I personally would love to talk to you too. We'll set up a coffee date (if you're close) or online chat or phone call!!! ***

You Are Worth It

I have this long term, broken relationship with this thing called...
Low Self-Esteem.

This past week has been exceptionally difficult.  Believe or not, I really struggle with liking who I am. And specifically how I look.  You're probably thinking right now, "JESSICA!!! You're crazy!! What are you talking about?!? Shut up!!! You're beautiful inside and out!" All phrases I have heard many times before. And I know they're telling me the truth. Yet my heart still has a difficult time grasping the idea and struggles with agreeing that I'm perfectly fine with the body and looks I have now.  Maybe you understand what I mean, maybe you don't.

Before you judge me and how I struggle with seeing myself through God's, and even other people's eyes, understand that this has been a lifetime battle. Crazy, I know. I'm not going to go into my story as to why that is or how I've gotten out of it (if you want to hear it give me a ring/text/facebook/myspace/twitter (Haha, yay technology!) and we'll meet for coffee and I'll tell you my story in person) but hopefully this gives you a teeny tiny glimpse so you know this lack of self-worth isn't from nowhere. I just don't want to talk about it on the world wide web. Whoops.

So how do we overcome self-hate? How do I? Lord knows its been difficult. Hence I'm struggling with it yet again.  Learning to see myself through His eyes is one of the hardest things ever. But!! It's something that has completely transformed my life.  Yes, I'm struggling this week, but for the past year I've liked who I am and what I see in the mirror for the first time since I was very young!! It's amazing. :)

How have I even gotten this far? I discovered Grace!!!! God's sweet and abounding Grace! Grace for the mistakes I've made. Grace for the wrongs people have done to me. Grace for every ounce of sin that has polluted my body, my thoughts, and just me. The Lord doesn't care and He forgives and He sees you as done and done!!! 

Maybe you're thinking, "Jess, I know this stuff. I hear it at church all the time. What else can I do?". Pray, pray, PRAY! Every moment of every day that your mind is quiet, ask God to change your perspective. I promise it works! Every negative thought, capture it and cry out to the G-Man!  He will give you strength, especially in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).  There is relief from these self-hate thoughts.

Don't give up.

This is going to have to be a 2-part blog!!! Woot!!...? There's so much more to say but I don't like reading long blogs...and I don't want to do that to you. Hopefully these words will get your mind turning, get your soul searching, and push you to get one-on-One with Jesus.  So be on the look out for mas!! In the meantime: here are some sweet verses to ponder.

Psalm 139: 14-15 ¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. (NLT) --check out the whole chapter!! Psalm 139

Genesis 1:27  ²⁷ So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (NLT)

1 Peter 2:9 ⁹But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (NIV)

Luke 12:6-7 ⁶ “What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. ⁷ And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. (NLT)