Stolen

So normally I write my own words and thoughts...but I read this from my good friend Laura Nagel's Facebook page.  And decided it was worth reposting.

To be honest...
...this is something I'm struggling with.  It's hard to be fully satisfied in God. But it's so worth it. Every relationship is given substance when God is the center. Relationships are not whole unless it is God keeping you together.

 “Everyone longs to give themselves to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively!

But God to the Christian says, No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with me alone. Not until you give yourself totally and unreservedly to me and experience an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone. I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me can your complete satisfaction be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human love that I have planned for you. You will never be totally happily united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing - one you cannot begin to imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring this to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. Just wait, that’s all! Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the love others have gotten or the things I have given them. Don’t even look at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away, up to me, or you will miss what I want to show you!

And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of! You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (and I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I have prepared for you, you wont be able to experience the pure beautiful love that exemplifies your relationship with me - this is Perfect Love!

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me. I want you to be able to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and pure love that I offer you in myself. (It is possible!) Know that I love you utterly. I am God, believe me, trust me, wait on me…and be satisfied!”

Time to trust.

Eleven

Day 11

It's hard to trust God when you don't see Him.  It's hard to trust His plan when you see "nothing" being accomplished.  It's rough sharing your faith when all you receive in return is rejection. It's next to impossible to take the next step when you don't trust where your foot will land.

It's a good thing that none of it is in our own hands.  Even when we don't understand or comprehend, the Lord has good in store for us (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

Isaiah 55 8-9 "8 My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord.  "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." (NLT)

As children of God, we can have full confidence in the Lord's plan for our lives.  For the last month I've been struggling with finding solid fellowship.  I have amazing friends! Don't get me wrong.  But finding those who share my faith and want to grow as badly as I do has been rough.  I feel like I'm not doing enough, not sharing enough, not searching hard enough.  When I do share, I feel like my words are rejected.  Even shunned and laughed at.  But His ways are far beyond my ways.  I know He has good planned for me.

Isaiah 55:10-11 10 "The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth.  They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. 11 It is the same with my word.  I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it." (NLT)

It's not up to me who accepts or declines God's Word.  But it is up to me whether I live a lifestyle that screams Jesus.  God's Will will be done, with or without my help.  I only need to trust and give my all to Him.

Thank goodness it's not up to me! ;)

One

Day 1

So if you're unsure as to what "Day 1" means, "Day 1" is the first day of the 30 day devos challenge! Starting today, and for the next 29 days, I'm going to put up what I got each morning for my devos.

I WOULD LOVE if you also shared with me what you got for your devotions. Whether it be a summary of what you got, just posting the verses, maybe getting some S.O.A.P on (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer) I want to hear about it!  So comment, send me a link to your blog showing your daily devos, shoot me an email. There's something about sharing God's Word with your brothers and sisters that's incredibly encouraging. Plus I just love hearing what God is speaking into your lives!

S Isaiah 48:17 This is what the Lord says-your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow. (NLT)

O The Lord, through the prophet Jeremiah has been berating Israel on and off for the last 47 chapters, and yet God still chooses to forgive and gently lead Israel in the right direction.  Despite Israel's rebelliousness, God continues to teach them and lead them. Crazy!

A  If the Lord does that for Israel, will He not do the same for me? Heck yes He will and does! Grace through Jesus Christ makes me clean and the Lord continues to lead me onto His path.  Even when I stray.  He continues to teach me even when I wander. I can have faith in His promise and know His ways are the best for me.

P  Lord, thank you for Your grace. Thank you for always teaching and guiding me without fail.  Even when I disregard You, You still want and patiently wait for me. Help me to stay on your path and follow your teachings rather than rebel.  You are my God and I will follow you.

Challenging Clay

It's been almost a month since my last blog post. Summer school!!!!!!! ....ugh.  Cramming 12 weeks of work into 6 weeks means lots of homework all the time. Good news though, only 2 weeks left!!!! I'm ready to be done.

Sometimes...a lot of times...as you have read in my other posts, I don't understand why God has placed me where I'm at.  I want to be doing organized ministry! Pastoring. But here I am at a very secular and liberal university finishing my degree in Communications. Not theology.  But in my process of following God's will and not my own I've learned so much! I've learned obedience.
When's the last time you questioned God?  "Why am I here?" "Why am I like this?"  "Why did he have to leave me?" "Where am I supposed to go?" "This isn't fair! This isn't right."  Here's a thought for you:

What sorrow waits those who argue with Creator.  Does a clay pot argue with its maker?  Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, "Stop, you're doing it wrong!" Does the pot exclaim, "How clumsy can you be?" How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, "Why was I born?" or if it said to its mother, "Why did you make me this way?"

Do you argue with God about the way you were created? Do you challenge Him saying that He has directed your life in the wrong direction? Do you believe that He knows best for you?

"This is what the Lord says - the Holy One of Israel and your Creator: "Do you question what I do for my children?  Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?  I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it.  With my hands I stretched out the heavens.  All the stars are at my command."
Instead of arguing with God about where you're at, ask Him what you're supposed to be learning, what you're supposed to be doing.  In Isaiah 45 God reminds us that we don't need to question Him.  

I know that I've been struggling with questioning His will over the past year.  But through His grace I've come to realize who am I to question the Lord? He is my Creator, I can trust my entirety to His plan.  Rather than question, I will follow.  Rather than argue, I will obey. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13 . ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

"Future Talk" Again?

I'm getting so bad at this consistent blogging thing...maybe it's because last week was my H. E. Double Hockey Sticks week!!! Crazy. I relearned why I don't procrastinate all three of my major papers 'til end of the quarter, days before they're due....never again!

Alas...last week got even better when I failed my motorcycle endorsement course. Whoops.   I failed because I wiped out on the last day. Okay, okay "wiped out" may be too strong of words. But basically I took a turn too tight and too fast, the back wheel spun out, and the bike fell on its side...and on my leg. I'm fine!!! Just got some nice road rash, couple of bruises, pulled a muscle or two, and might have shattered my pride.

So how do I deal with failure? Not very well. I don't like to lose. Don't like to fail. Don't like being told no (It's funny how low self-esteem and pride go hand-in-hand).  It's frustrating when you have plans and they don't work out exactly as planned. Like planning on driving a motorcycle but then failing to earn the license. Sad day! Or perhaps planning on attending Biola University in LA. Or maybe going to Australia to Hillsong College.  Or  recording a demo, putting it on the internet, getting thousands of fans, and scoring a record label. Funny how life doesn't happen the way we mapped it out when we sat down at our kitchen table 5 weeks ago. 5 months ago. Maybe 5 years ago.

In the book of James we're directed to not boast about what we're going to do tomorrow or where we're going to go.
James 4:13-16 ¹³ Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” ¹⁴ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. ¹⁵ What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. (NLT)

Plans often don't work out the way we intend them. Instead God opens and closes doors to match His will for your life.  I go to Western Washington University, and trust me, it wasn't my first choice.  But I love the campus up here! God's teaching me amazing things! And I'm meeting people who are pushing me in my musical abilities. It's incredible.  God completely shut my plans to attend a Christian University. Did He stop my desire to be a pastor? Did He shut down my desire to pursue music? No way!! I know God's called me to pastor His people and to d0 what I love, music. I'm just taking a different route then might be typically be expected. 

Jeremiah 17:7-8  ⁷ “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. ⁸ They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. (NLT)

No matter where I go I know God's going to bless me as long as I remain in His will. As long as my roots are deep in His waters no matter what is thrown at me I'll make it through.  Failing a driving course, failing to write a song every week, failing to score a label, failing in a relationship,  failing to do everything exactly as I have planned isn't going to make me fade away.  My roots are in Christ. My hope and confidence is in His will for my life. When droughts hit me, I'll stay strong.

So I know I've been talking about my future plans a lot...I'm a college student, it's what we do. But I need to more readily realize that I don't need to focus completely on the future and what I'm going to do or what I want to do.  He'll open and close doors.  So hopefully my blog posts will stop being about knowing or not knowing my future and start being about what I'm going through right now.

But yes.

Thanks for reading my ridiculous and crazy thoughts! I so appreciate all the love you show.  Knowing you read my blog makes me feel fuzzy and warm inside. :)

Jeremiah 9:24 ²⁴ But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth and that I delight in these things. I, the Lord, have spoken! (NLT)

Forky Rd.

If you haven't noticed...I haven't been very prolific in my writing of blogs. Life is crazy! School, work, school, music, did I mention school? All of my brain power has been focused on school...and to be honest, my song writing.  Which is awesome!

April 24th, Saturday night, I had my first "mini-concert". Let me say, it was amazing! Everyone who came blessed me and Jared so much! Asking for a CD, where to download, when my next concert was. Sooo cool. But with all this awesomeness, I'm left with the question: what direction do I take? But isn't that always the question?

School. I've got to finish school. Australia. I SO want to go to Australia.  Music! I want to do music for the rest of my life (God willing, please!!!). Pastor. God's called me, but timeline, I'm not so sure what that is. Love people. Easy! Doing that all the time (hopefully that shows).

So where do I go?

Ahhh! Is it so bad that I don't really know? At least in the long run.  409 days until graduation. That's the first step for sure. Education is so important! Teaches you skills that you will use for the rest of your life: discipline, critical thinking, commitment, time management, etc.  (Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 22:6) But that's just over a year away. What then?! Originally I wanted to go to Australia...but what if my music shoots off...or what if it doesn't...do I still leave the States? What about pastoring? I know I've been called to do that. I have opportunity to pastor right after I graduate. Literally. WHAT DO I DO?!!!?!?!?!?

What do I do when I ask Jesus that question and He doesn't seem to answer? That's what it feels like right now.  Perhaps I'm not really listening, that's a very huge possibility...I really REALLY want to be a successful artist...at least semi-successful. :)  But what if you literally don't get an answer (right away, I've found He ALWAYS answers, just not very often in my timing).

You wait. Awesome.

BUT! In your waiting for a direct answer be sure that you also keep walking. Standing still gets you no where. Literally.  Pursue something, anything!! Pursue what you want! If He doesn't want you going that direction He'll let you know quick. Doors will shut, plans will fall through, money won't be there. If He does! You'll find yourself plunking along.

^{Psalms 37:4-5  4} Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. ⁵ Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him, and he will help you. (NLT)

In conclusion (so school like), I still don't really know what I'm going to do. And that's okay. I'll finish school while pushing my music "career" and thinking about Australia.  As long as my heart is aligned with His, things will naturally fall into place. I just hope that He'll let me do what I want! If not, I'll be just fine. God's good. :)

Proverbs 3:5-6  ⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. ⁶ Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (NLT)

Share My Song

Over the past month my music writing has increased dramatically.  I normally spend an hour every day or every other day playing and writing.  While most of what I produce isn't the greatest, some of the songs are pretty good.  It's been insane, the way God has been pushing me to grow musically.  He's placed some very specific, and sometimes very random, people in my life to encourage and challenge me.

Rewind to the summer of my freshman year: white water rafting trip with Megan Hall. I didn't know her very well, but for some reason I decided I would go on this crazy adventure with her.  While I don't remember much of what happened, what I do remember was a conversation we had on the beach.  We began sharing our dreams with each other.  She felt called to be a missionary, to go to Africa.  I remember her saying, "But I'm not sure that will really happen." I, on the other hand, wanted to produce music more than anything! Wanted to lead worship for thousands of people. But I remember saying, "It's just a dream, I doubt it could ever happen.". 

Fast forward six years to present day.  Megan's in Uganda!!! And I'm slowly recording the music I've written!   While she's not quite what most people would consider a full-grown "missionary", she's in Africa! She's building a love and passion for the Ugandan people (Check out her blog).  She's taking the steps to be what God has called her to be. While I'm not exactly an artist who gets paid for her music, I'm recording and people are beginning to listen. Megan and I are stepping into our very own dreams! And it's so exciting.

God has placed hopes dreams in every one of our hearts.  And He wants us to accomplish them!!
Psalm 20:4-5 
Psalm 37:4  ⁴ Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. (NLT)

Fight for your dreams! Don't give up on them.  People are going to shoot your dreams down. They're going to say, "No.", "You're not good enough.", "Give up.".  Your deepest hopes are there because He has placed them.  He has created each of us for a purpose and a calling.

But maybe you're saying, "I'm definitely not reaching my dreams. God's not giving them to me.".  I ask you this question, is your heart beating to the rhythm of His heart? When we read Psalm 37:4 we often stop there, we don't read the next verse:

Psalm 37:5 ⁵ Commit everything you do to the Lord.Trust him, and he will help you. (NLT)

Commit to His way.  Your dreams will fall into place after that.  If not, perhaps the dreams you have now are not the ones He has planned for you.  Check your heart, search out His, He'll give you direction and a new dream better than anything else you could have imagined.

While I'm so excited in how my music "career" is starting, the moment I quit making Jesus my #1 I know things are going to fail.  He's the one who's blessed me with my gifts, given me my songs, and put that dream in my heart in the first place.  



**Click Here to Check Out My Music Website**

Jeremiah 29:11-13 ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² In those days when you pray, I will listen. ¹³ If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 

Closed Fist

I have you ever gotten your hand caught in the cookie jar?

I mean literally. I guess the cookie jar wouldn't work...but for me, I got my hand caught in the candy jar.  You know what jar I'm talking about.  The one where the hole is just big enough to get your hand in, but not big enough so that once you grab a fist full of delicious Tootsie Rolls you can't get your hand out. So infuriating!! Then you realize the only way you can get candy out is to grab one piece of candy at a time...and by then end of the process it's no longer worth it.  You're angry that you've only gotten two pieces out, your hand hurts from trying to force it through the small opening, and your mouth has yet to taste sweet success because you're so busy getting the little pieces of candy out you forget your main goal in the first place!!

It seems like life simulates this scenario all too often.

We want something, but no matter how hard we hold on to it, how hard we pull out, we can't have it. Our hands are literally stuck.  Next thing we know, is we're miserable.  We've got this jar attached to our hand inhibiting us from doing daily activities.  Eating, shaking new acquaintances' hands, opening doors; all become a challenge.

Just like eating with a jar attached to our hand is next to impossible (Assume that both hands are in jars. We're a greedy culture.), so can nourishing our spiritual and emotional health.  When you hold on to a relationship, a dream, a plan that God has called you to let go, you'll only inhibit your life. Holding onto what you cannot have begins to harden your heart.  You become angry and hopeless because something that you want so desperately is in your hands, yet you are still unable to attain because your hand is stuck in a jar.  You begin to question God because you feel like you have a right (Is it not in your hand? Do you not have your fist wrapped tightly around it?).  Soon spiritual and emotional growth stop; you're so focused on what's "rightfully" yours and you wait for God to fully give it to you, and when He doesn't, you assume that you're doing something wrong.  Growth stops because you refuse to let it happen.
(Luke 9:23-25)

Keeping our fist in the jar also keeps us from meeting new people. Especially when we hold onto relationships. You can't shake someone's hand when yours is surrounded by glass. I know this from experience.  You hold onto a relationship, you hope that God will heal it the easy way, that things will go "back to normal", so you don't let go.  Meanwhile, all these amazing, new people are asking to shake your hand, but you won't get rid of that jar.  Perhaps the only way things can go "back to normal" is to let the one you love and care about to move on.
(Matthew 16:24-27)

Finally, having that jar on our hand inhibits us from opening doors.  We're so wrapped up in our predetermined plans that if God provides new opportunities we refuse to jump on them because we want what we almost have, but not quite.  Perhaps God is asking that you to join a small group, join a ministry, enter leadership, take a risk.  You have to let go of what you want in order to do His will.
(Proverbs 3:3-6)

Paul reminds us not to keep our fist in the jar.
Hebrews 3:12, 14-15 ¹² Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. ¹⁴ For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. ¹⁵ Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.” (NLT)

Instead we are to surrender everything to Him.
Romans 12:1  ¹ And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. (NLT)
(If you want to read more on my thoughts about surrendering, check out this blog entry!)

And in the end, we all know that letting go of our fist full of candy is worth it.  It obviously makes sense that if we just let go, we can get our hands out, feed ourselves, meet new people, and open new doors. And yet why are we still so stubborn to hold onto what's keeping us stuck?  Perhaps we're afraid.  Afraid that if we let go we'll lose it forever.  And there's a good chance that's true. But is losing it not worth the gain we'll get from following God's perfect plan?


Yeah, maybe we won't get those Tootsie Rolls.  But we will get what God has intended for us! Which is infinitely better.  It's like comparing Tootsie Rolls to Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream, which everyone knows there's nothing better than a hot slice of homemade apple pie with a scoop of cold vanilla ice cream!!!

Goodbye Tootsie Rolls. Hello Apple Pie Ala Mode!!!

1 Peter 1:6-7 ⁶ So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (NLT)