I Love Jesus

Lacking inspiration on something to blog.  So....I going to branch off a Facebook status update of mine.  The essence of the update included making yummy food, watching The Bachelorette, and thinking that a boyfriend sounds good....

Oh silly Jess...think think think!!! I didn't mention that I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, just the thought sounded nice. Of course a relationship sounds nice! Don't most of us want that? Someone to who understands and appreciates us? Someone who makes us feel special and fuzzy on the inside.  Someone who lets you be yourself and you feel safe enough to be yourself.  Ugh. Relationships. Ugh. Boys.

Relationships are complicated. I'm not good at them. I really don't have much of a history in relationships.  But that's okay. I don't mind. :)  I've had one relationship, and while I am definitely no expert, I have learned a lot from that experience, and combined with my leaders and pastors' instruction I hope to provide some insight.

So my advice on relationships...

Keep God #1!!!! Soooooo important.  The moment your significant other becomes more important than God things will fall apart.  God is the only one who can keep two imperfect people together.  If your focus isn't the Lord then you're not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Exodus 20:2-4  ² “I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. ³ “You must not have any other god but me. ⁴ “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. (NLT)
This includes making your boyfriend or girlfriend your idol; loving them more than you love God. It's easy to do, trust me.

When in doubt, snuff it out. If you're questioning whether your getting too physical, sharing too many emotions, wondering if your parents or leaders would approve, then stop!!!! In fact, don't even put yourself in compromising situations. Easier said then done. It's sooo easy to put yourself in a place where the chances giving into temptation are escalated. 2 Timothy 2:22 ²²Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. (NLT)

If you're questioning, then you should probably stop and avoid. God's given you a conscience for a reason.

Have Accountability!! This is also vastly important!! Let people know you're in a relationship. Let your friends now how you're doing. Check in with your with leaders/pastors/parents.  Find people who have experience (this does not mean your friend who's dated 50 boys and she just entered her freshman year...of high school), let them give you advice and listen to them.
Luke 11:36  If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.” (NLT)
You should be transparent in every aspect of your life (Check out this blog!! It's sweet stuff.).

So yes....talking about relationships is awkward. Especially when you're single, but you want relationship, but you're not sure if you're ready, and you're very picky, and you have amazing lady friends who are even pickier, and you have a billion father figures who all want to shoot the boys who come to the front door AND you have a super protective Daddy who has shot most of the boys who have come to the front yard.

So what am I saying???
 I love Jesus. 

Sticks and Stones and Tweets.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

...Biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life.

We all know how much words can hurt.  We've all experienced those words thrown at you on the playground that forever shape how you act and what you think of yourself.  "You're stupid.", "I hate you.", "Why do you have a fat stomach?", "I hate having her on my team!", "He sucks." Those words scar and mangle the receivers until their value of themselves are completely lost.  And while my time on the playground has been long over (Okay...not true. There's a playground by my apartment that I swing at every so once in a while!...but I mean now that I'm older.), I'm finding words that cut and pierce have shifted from face-to-face interactions to passive aggression: through the internet and texting.  Tools such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter have seemed to open a new doorway to shattering confidence.  Perhaps in an even more painful way.

I have not had anyone insult me to my face in a very long time. I have not seen people insult each other in person in a very long time. What I do see are blogs, Facebook statuses, and tweets filled with anger, hurt, frustration, and carelessly typed words.  While there may be the excuses, "Well, I'm being real." or "They don't know who I'm talking about." the person for who those words were intended (secretly or not) often still understand it's about them. And it still hurts the same.

The Bible is very clear on how we should guard our tongues and control them. 

Take a look at James 3!!
Ephesians 4:31 ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. (NLT)

Titus 3:2 ² They [believers] must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. (NLT) 

As Christ followers, we are called to a higher standard.  Our words should never be used to manipulate, hurt, or tear down the people around us.  Instead we are to build each other up. To encourage and love people with our words. 

Ephesians 4:29 ²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

Personally, there are times when I want to update my Facebook status with phrases that I know will hurt others...on purpose.  Phrases along the lines of, "why do I Justify/What you did wrong/to me" or "I swear I didn't mean/For it to feel like this/Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised" or "I hate everything about you" (All lyrics from songs. Not my own thoughts).  Sometimes I want to hurt people back because I hurt too, but God has called me to live above that.

Next time you're thinking of tweeting emo song lyrics, "You ruined my life" quotes, "I hate her/him", or anything that could cause someone to hurt or think negatively about themselves, stop! It hurts me to see so many young people tearing each other down via the internet. Just because you're not saying it to their face doesn't mean it doesn't work the same way.  Live a higher standard. Live for Christ.

James 3:9-10 ⁹ Sometimes it [the tongue] praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! (NLT)

The Final Rose...?

I have a confession to make...

....I secretly love watching The Bachelor.  Horrible! I know...but for some reason I cannot tear myself away that 1-2 hour allotment of time Monday evenings.  I understand that the drama is amped up.  I get that they edit the show like no other.  I see that almost everyone in the show never finds a lasting relationship. I know it's a whole lot of fake.  Yet I still love watching it! So embarrassing...

Why would I share this secret indulgence with you? Because I think it's important to understand why so many ladies like myself love watching this show--15.5 million average viewers this last season.  Now do I really want to see women's hearts destroyed, all hope for love devastated within a single moment of not receiving a rose? Not really. Do I want to see Mr. Bachelor making out with 20 different women just because he can and they're willing. Not at all.  (Sheesh, why do I even watch this show?!) What I do want to see, what my little girly heart wants to see, is a woman finally falling for the guy of her dreams.  And he falling for her.  I want to see that fairy tale ending.  Why would I want to see that? Because I want a fairy tale ending myself.

We all want to be loved.  We all want acceptance.  And almost all of us want to find romance.  We want that special someone who makes our hearts light up and gives us butterflies.  We want to "fall in love".  

One of my mentors, and pastor, told me, "If you can fall in love, you can fall out of love".  And this is all so true in The Bachelor world. I think out of 19 couples, only 2 are married.  So what is love? Obviously from my secret reality show, it's not just a feeling, or lust, or even getting that final rose and proposal at the end.

So what does love look like if it's not hearts and roses?  I have been reading John's letters to the church, and he talks a lot about love and what it should look like.  This morning in my devos I came upon this passage and I'd like to share my SOAP. (minus the P...you can make up your own prayer.) ;)

S-- 1 John 4: 9-10 ⁹ God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. ¹⁰ This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (NLT)

O--Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice.  It isn't saying "I love you".  It's proving it through your actions.  It's not loving someone because they love you back. It's loving them even when they're unlovable.  Christ loved us by sacrificing Himself. By giving up His life.

A--I love by giving up my own desires and wants. I love God by giving up all of me to Him.  I love my brothers and sisters by sacrificing my own desires and doing what's best for them.

Many of you already know what love is, but applying it is so much more difficult than knowing it. I don't want to give up my time, my plans, my ambitions for another. And yet that is exactly what God calls of us.

John 15:12-13 ¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (NLT)

"Lay down one's life for one's friends" Not such an easy thing.  Maybe God's calling you to lay down your life for a friend.  Perhaps not literally, but He's asking you to give up a relationship.  He's asking you to be friends with someone who isn't lovable.  To sacrifice your time. To give your shoulder.  To tell them "no".

True love isn't a romantic feeling for someone (Though trust me, I cannot wait to fall in love with my husband), because those will fade.  Love is being sacrificial. Love is choosing the highest good for the other person. Even if it's not what they or you want. 

1 John 3:18 ¹⁸ Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (NLT)

"My love is over, it's underneath. It's inside, it's in between."

Have you ever questioned God, asked Him where He or His Love is? "Why did this have to happen?", "Why am I still hurting?", "Why am I suffering?", "Where are You when I need You most?".

I am most positive that at some point you have. I have. We all have. I doubt Him much more than I should. God's plan swings a certain way, it hurts, and I don't get it. Things happen that I don't want. Faith becomes a little bit harder; loving others becomes a battle. And yet through all my suffering and pain: through my confusion and uncertainty, I know God will remain faithful.

This morning's devos:

James 5:11 (NKJV)
Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord-that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

If you've heard the story of Job, you'll know that he was a Godly man. (Check out the book of Job!) In fact, he was such a follower of the Lord that the devil asks that he hurt Job to prove the only reason he was faithful was because of his wealth, family, and blessings. The devil takes away everything: his riches, his children, even his health. But in the end, God blesses him with twice as much as he had before (Job 42:10).

A lot of times we see this as God planning out pain for Job. That "God hurt Job because He knew Job would stay faithful.". But that wasn't God's plan at all!! "Indeed we count the blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord,"!!! The ending was God's plan to begin with. But God, in His infinite wisdom (which I do not understand at all. And it's a good thing I don't have to.) allowed pain to happen. BUT it wasn't His intended plan.

I have to remind myself that God does have an intended plan for me. And although He allows painful things to happen, He never planned for them. I will continue to trust my Jesus and know that His Love is here.
Check out this song by Tenth Avenue North! So good!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw_8o85lFxA

Times by Tenth Avenue North (My favorite lyrics of the song below)

"Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting. The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends. It never ends."