Transparency

To be honest, I didn't want to write this post. It calls out a lot of things in my life...I've started, stopped, restarted, and stopped again. But it's finally done! Read on my friends, read on.

Do you remember the first time you saw a prism? How sweet it was when the light shone through that transparent glass and a rainbow shone on the table! It's amazing! And so beautiful. The key to prisms is they have to be absolutely transparent, or the rainbow won't shine through the other side. (I'm sure there's some awesome scientific explanation...but I'm a Comm major and there's no way I'm diving into that stuff!)

Now on to why I didn't want to start this post...God's called me to live a transparent life. To be as crystal clear as a prism so when Christ shines in me, it shines out in the most beautiful way! What's wrong with that? Nothing! But it's super hard.

Transparency. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary first defines it as being "fine or sheer enough to be seen through." The second definition is "free from pretense or deceit" or "easily detected or seen through." Now honestly, I don't want everyone to see how I live...I'd want to (and did) lie about how I was doing...or what I was doing. Believe it or not, I'm not the nicest person. I criticize, I tear people down (yeah sarcasm...), I'm lazy, I like to wallow in my "down" feelings, I want people to be there for me without me having to be there for them, the list could go on and on and on and on. 

Being transparent is to be free from pretense or deceit, to be easily seen through. That means not hiding my weaknesses and living in a manner that no matter who sees what I'm doing at any given moment, I won't be ashamed.  Oh goodness. Honestly, I wouldn't want any of you to see some of the mistakes I've made over the past year. The way I've governed my private life (whether it be the questionable shows I watch, the way I selfishly govern my relationships, or how I give in to laziness and waste entire days.) hasn't been God honoring.

1 John 1:8-10 ⁸ If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. ⁹ But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts. (NLT)

So here I am, a broken sinner (Now I understand what Paul was saying when he claimed to be the worst of sinners 1 Timothy ). And yet the crazy thing is God still uses me in so many ways! To him I'll always be crystal clear. But it is my aim to run the race with endurance, and do it transparently. So don't hesitate to ask me how I'm doing, and not in the shallow way! Ask me to be transparent with you and I promise I'll try my hardest. If I hesitate, call it out.

I want to shine Jesus so that when His light passes through me all of you get hit with red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet! All the colors, not just one.

Jeremiah 8:4 ⁴ “Jeremiah, say to the people, ‘This is what the Lord says: “‘When people fall down, don’t they get up again?  When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back?"