The Ascendancy of Callow Fish

Today I have discovered a wonderful gift. The power of Sushi.

At 6 o'clock Liz and I met up with Pastors Rick and Tiffany from New Hope Foursquare at a Teriyaki and Sushi restaurant for dinner. It was delicious. Now the entire time we were eating, in the back of my mind, I knew I that had ultimate practice right after. But the sushi kept calling me back and I could not ignore it. Needless to say, I ate a lot.



At 8 o'clock practice begins. My stomach was growling in protest as we began our warm-up lap. It was going to be a long night. But then I noticed something amazing! After warm-ups we throw the disc around, and tonight my throws were amazing! Solid, fast, to the reciever. Forehand and Backhand. It was incredible! And then the drills began. Instead of my stomach causing me problems my cuts were great, sprinting was easy, catching the disc...okay yeah, I still struggle with that one... but! everything was great. Then it was time for the long pass drill, but by then I knew the sushi was giving me some outerworld power. Long pass after long pass I dove. (For whatever reason Devin was just throwing the discs too far). I was as graceful as a swan, going all out, sacrificing my body. It was amazing.

Unfortunately...by 9:30 the sushi powers had faded. I was back to my okay self. I finished the last 30 minutes of practice tired, sore, and thoroughly proud of myself.

So next time you have a big game coming up, an intense exam, or going home for the weekend:



eat sushi.

Alone? Or Lonliness?

I have recently been savoring a book given to me by one of my best friends Liz called The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord.

“Could it be possible that being alone does not have to mean that you are lonely?”

I’ve read this book before. I’ve read countless lines like this before. But in the season of life I am in now, the timing of this sentence could never have been more perfect. “Could it be possible that being alone does not have to mean that you are lonely?” I know it is not just possible, I know it can be true.

Everything about this next leg of this race is new for me. After 19 years, I no longer live with my family, no longer live in Oak Harbor, no longer have a solid church family right at my doorsteps, and I am no longer in an easy, comfortable place. And though I have felt a much deeper loneliness before, I still feel alone at times. Transition has been more of a challenge than I had anticipated. I am very blessed and I have family and friends who support me no matter what, but yet, sometimes I still feel isolated. Perhaps it is because I do not see them on a daily or even weekly basis. Regardless, I have been struggling with feeling alone. It is not the “I don’t have enough social time” or “I need to hang out” lonliness, but something deeper. I have been realizing that over the past year or so I had been fighting my “loneliness” with being social. I was spending as much time as I could with people so I wouldn’t feel lonesome. But that wasn’t it. It was not until I was forced into many quiet alone times (ironically) that I have discovered what the issue was. I was searching for community, friendship, relationship in people before I was searching for it in God. I took times of aloneness as a sort of solitary confinement; something that I could not enjoy. But now I realize that alone time is a time for growth. To be drawn closer to God.

Hosea 2:14 “But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there,” (NLT)

Hosea 2:14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her.” (NKJV)

Jesus is leading me to the desert, to the wilderness. It is here that He will draw me in, comfort me, and push me beyond what I perceive is possible. I’m being lead to aloneness, and I’m excited.

I am alone frequently. But I am no longer lonely.

"My love is over, it's underneath. It's inside, it's in between."

Have you ever questioned God, asked Him where He or His Love is? "Why did this have to happen?", "Why am I still hurting?", "Why am I suffering?", "Where are You when I need You most?".

I am most positive that at some point you have. I have. We all have. I doubt Him much more than I should. God's plan swings a certain way, it hurts, and I don't get it. Things happen that I don't want. Faith becomes a little bit harder; loving others becomes a battle. And yet through all my suffering and pain: through my confusion and uncertainty, I know God will remain faithful.

This morning's devos:

James 5:11 (NKJV)
Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord-that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

If you've heard the story of Job, you'll know that he was a Godly man. (Check out the book of Job!) In fact, he was such a follower of the Lord that the devil asks that he hurt Job to prove the only reason he was faithful was because of his wealth, family, and blessings. The devil takes away everything: his riches, his children, even his health. But in the end, God blesses him with twice as much as he had before (Job 42:10).

A lot of times we see this as God planning out pain for Job. That "God hurt Job because He knew Job would stay faithful.". But that wasn't God's plan at all!! "Indeed we count the blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord,"!!! The ending was God's plan to begin with. But God, in His infinite wisdom (which I do not understand at all. And it's a good thing I don't have to.) allowed pain to happen. BUT it wasn't His intended plan.

I have to remind myself that God does have an intended plan for me. And although He allows painful things to happen, He never planned for them. I will continue to trust my Jesus and know that His Love is here.
Check out this song by Tenth Avenue North! So good!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw_8o85lFxA

Times by Tenth Avenue North (My favorite lyrics of the song below)

"Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting. The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends. It never ends."

Calisthenics

So....

Being here at Western, I have not had so much physical exhertion since my soccer career ended! Let me share with you my typical week.

• Everyday I walk 1 mile loop to and from school 2 to 3 to 4 times a day. (For all you non-math whiz's like me, that's 2 to 4 miles a day.) Uphill.
• Twice a week I run that mile loop.
• Three times a week I have ultimate practice for 2 hours. (Lots of sprinting and throwing and sprinting and catching. And did I mention sprinting?)
• Twice a week I have weight-lifting. (Which unfortunately is kicking my butt since my shoulder injury is acting up and I can't do pushups.)
• Three times a week I climb the stairs of a 5 story building to the top level. (Yeah calves of steel.)
• And every so often I go walk around Bellingham just for fun.

The conslusion is: I'm going to get be in great shape! Yeah!
...and I'm stinking sore all the time.