....I secretly love watching The Bachelor. Horrible! I know...but for some reason I cannot tear myself away that 1-2 hour allotment of time Monday evenings. I understand that the drama is amped up. I get that they edit the show like no other. I see that almost everyone in the show never finds a lasting relationship. I know it's a whole lot of fake. Yet I still love watching it! So embarrassing...
Why would I share this secret indulgence with you? Because I think it's important to understand why so many ladies like myself love watching this show--15.5 million average viewers this last season. Now do I really want to see women's hearts destroyed, all hope for love devastated within a single moment of not receiving a rose? Not really. Do I want to see Mr. Bachelor making out with 20 different women just because he can and they're willing. Not at all. (Sheesh, why do I even watch this show?!) What I do want to see, what my little girly heart wants to see, is a woman finally falling for the guy of her dreams. And he falling for her. I want to see that fairy tale ending. Why would I want to see that? Because I want a fairy tale ending myself.We all want to be loved. We all want acceptance. And almost all of us want to find romance. We want that special someone who makes our hearts light up and gives us butterflies. We want to "fall in love".
One of my mentors, and pastor, told me, "If you can fall in love, you can fall out of love". And this is all so true in The Bachelor world. I think out of 19 couples, only 2 are married. So what is love? Obviously from my secret reality show, it's not just a feeling, or lust, or even getting that final rose and proposal at the end.
So what does love look like if it's not hearts and roses? I have been reading John's letters to the church, and he talks a lot about love and what it should look like. This morning in my devos I came upon this passage and I'd like to share my SOAP. (minus the P...you can make up your own prayer.) ;)
S-- 1 John 4: 9-10 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (NLT)
O--Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice. It isn't saying "I love you". It's proving it through your actions. It's not loving someone because they love you back. It's loving them even when they're unlovable. Christ loved us by sacrificing Himself. By giving up His life.
A--I love by giving up my own desires and wants. I love God by giving up all of me to Him. I love my brothers and sisters by sacrificing my own desires and doing what's best for them.
Many of you already know what love is, but applying it is so much more difficult than knowing it. I don't want to give up my time, my plans, my ambitions for another. And yet that is exactly what God calls of us.
John 15:12-13 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (NLT)
"Lay down one's life for one's friends" Not such an easy thing. Maybe God's calling you to lay down your life for a friend. Perhaps not literally, but He's asking you to give up a relationship. He's asking you to be friends with someone who isn't lovable. To sacrifice your time. To give your shoulder. To tell them "no".
True love isn't a romantic feeling for someone (Though trust me, I cannot wait to fall in love with my husband), because those will fade. Love is being sacrificial. Love is choosing the highest good for the other person. Even if it's not what they or you want.
1 John 3:18 18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (NLT)
you my dear are wise beyond your years. it took me a long time and a lot of hardship to learn the truth in what you just stated. BUT when you get it it stays with you, and you learn that when loving someone doesnt feel good, leaning on Christ DOES. sacrifice is not a word we like in humanity....and its why so many people have one failed relationship after another.
ReplyDeleteyou are going to be an awesome wife.