Sticks and Stones and Tweets.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

...Biggest load of crap I have ever heard in my life.

We all know how much words can hurt.  We've all experienced those words thrown at you on the playground that forever shape how you act and what you think of yourself.  "You're stupid.", "I hate you.", "Why do you have a fat stomach?", "I hate having her on my team!", "He sucks." Those words scar and mangle the receivers until their value of themselves are completely lost.  And while my time on the playground has been long over (Okay...not true. There's a playground by my apartment that I swing at every so once in a while!...but I mean now that I'm older.), I'm finding words that cut and pierce have shifted from face-to-face interactions to passive aggression: through the internet and texting.  Tools such as Facebook, Myspace, Twitter have seemed to open a new doorway to shattering confidence.  Perhaps in an even more painful way.

I have not had anyone insult me to my face in a very long time. I have not seen people insult each other in person in a very long time. What I do see are blogs, Facebook statuses, and tweets filled with anger, hurt, frustration, and carelessly typed words.  While there may be the excuses, "Well, I'm being real." or "They don't know who I'm talking about." the person for who those words were intended (secretly or not) often still understand it's about them. And it still hurts the same.

The Bible is very clear on how we should guard our tongues and control them. 

Take a look at James 3!!
Ephesians 4:31 ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. (NLT)

Titus 3:2 ² They [believers] must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. (NLT) 

As Christ followers, we are called to a higher standard.  Our words should never be used to manipulate, hurt, or tear down the people around us.  Instead we are to build each other up. To encourage and love people with our words. 

Ephesians 4:29 ²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

Personally, there are times when I want to update my Facebook status with phrases that I know will hurt others...on purpose.  Phrases along the lines of, "why do I Justify/What you did wrong/to me" or "I swear I didn't mean/For it to feel like this/Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised" or "I hate everything about you" (All lyrics from songs. Not my own thoughts).  Sometimes I want to hurt people back because I hurt too, but God has called me to live above that.

Next time you're thinking of tweeting emo song lyrics, "You ruined my life" quotes, "I hate her/him", or anything that could cause someone to hurt or think negatively about themselves, stop! It hurts me to see so many young people tearing each other down via the internet. Just because you're not saying it to their face doesn't mean it doesn't work the same way.  Live a higher standard. Live for Christ.

James 3:9-10 ⁹ Sometimes it [the tongue] praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! (NLT)

Evilomics isn't all evil?!! Maybe...

Although I'm on Spring break and school should not even be in my thoughts, microeconomics is again coming into play in my blog... Sheesh, it was such a painful class that taught me more than I would ever like to admit.

In probably one of the only chapters I understood, our class discussed why a firm would take on short-term losses for the sake of long-term gains.  In other words, a company would be willing to sell a product at a price that created losses in order to keep customers in the long run and hopefully get to a point where they would be gaining again.  Let me provide you with a nifty little graph to help demonstrate.

A company would be willing to charge $495 or even $250 (depending on the demand of consumers) even though they need to charge more in order to not have losses.

Red area is their loss.

If you don't understand... don't worry. I still don't really understand... What I want you to get is that sometimes companies are willing to take losses (being in the red) so that in the long run they will eventually gain (getting the green).

Life can be like a business.  Our goals are to stay afloat; to not have so many losses that we go under, and to receive gain; to enjoy life to the fullest.  Like a business, life has costs and benefits.  And like a business, sometimes it takes periods of costs and loss before we can enter periods of gains and benefits: taking short-term loss to receive long-term gains.

Example: Playdoh is only one of the greatest things on this planet. If you only play with your Playdoh for 15 minutes at a time rather than 1 hour your Playdoh will last longer: 1 hour of play time would most assuredly dry out the dough.  While 15 minutes is never enough time, you need to sustain that short-term loss of play time to ensure the long-term lifetime of your Playdoh.
 In reverse, sometimes short-term gains can result in long-term losses.  Say you really REALLY love cookies. In the short-term, if you eat a dozen cookies it's going to be awesome! But in the long-term you'll gain 5 pounds and you'll be less healthy. The extra weight could eventually lead to heart disease, hypertension, and then you die.

Life takes sacrifice.  Living for Jesus takes many instances of short-term loss to receive the long-term gain.  Our short time on earth is to be lived in full surrender to Christ 
Mark 8:34-35  ³⁴Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ³⁵For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. (NIV)

So what are you willing to give up in the short-term so you may gain in the long-term? Sports? Maybe get involved in leadership and serving at your church.  Time? Perhaps spending your weekends getting in the Word rather than partying.  Relationships? Pursuing Christ rather than a boy or girl.
You have to give up in order to receive. (Check out this blog for more on surrender.)

So although microeconomics was one of the yuckiest classes on the face of the planet, God used it to speak to me. If He can use evilomics He will use you! (Tangent.) 
Anyways, that was all I had to say. Thank you all for reading my blog!! I really REALLY appreciate that you all do. Especially since they seem to be getting longer. Sorry. LOVE YOU!!!

Colossians 3:1-4  ¹ Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. ² Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. ³ For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (NLT)

The Final Rose...?

I have a confession to make...

....I secretly love watching The Bachelor.  Horrible! I know...but for some reason I cannot tear myself away that 1-2 hour allotment of time Monday evenings.  I understand that the drama is amped up.  I get that they edit the show like no other.  I see that almost everyone in the show never finds a lasting relationship. I know it's a whole lot of fake.  Yet I still love watching it! So embarrassing...

Why would I share this secret indulgence with you? Because I think it's important to understand why so many ladies like myself love watching this show--15.5 million average viewers this last season.  Now do I really want to see women's hearts destroyed, all hope for love devastated within a single moment of not receiving a rose? Not really. Do I want to see Mr. Bachelor making out with 20 different women just because he can and they're willing. Not at all.  (Sheesh, why do I even watch this show?!) What I do want to see, what my little girly heart wants to see, is a woman finally falling for the guy of her dreams.  And he falling for her.  I want to see that fairy tale ending.  Why would I want to see that? Because I want a fairy tale ending myself.

We all want to be loved.  We all want acceptance.  And almost all of us want to find romance.  We want that special someone who makes our hearts light up and gives us butterflies.  We want to "fall in love".  

One of my mentors, and pastor, told me, "If you can fall in love, you can fall out of love".  And this is all so true in The Bachelor world. I think out of 19 couples, only 2 are married.  So what is love? Obviously from my secret reality show, it's not just a feeling, or lust, or even getting that final rose and proposal at the end.

So what does love look like if it's not hearts and roses?  I have been reading John's letters to the church, and he talks a lot about love and what it should look like.  This morning in my devos I came upon this passage and I'd like to share my SOAP. (minus the P...you can make up your own prayer.) ;)

S-- 1 John 4: 9-10 ⁹ God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. ¹⁰ This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (NLT)

O--Love isn't a feeling. It's a choice.  It isn't saying "I love you".  It's proving it through your actions.  It's not loving someone because they love you back. It's loving them even when they're unlovable.  Christ loved us by sacrificing Himself. By giving up His life.

A--I love by giving up my own desires and wants. I love God by giving up all of me to Him.  I love my brothers and sisters by sacrificing my own desires and doing what's best for them.

Many of you already know what love is, but applying it is so much more difficult than knowing it. I don't want to give up my time, my plans, my ambitions for another. And yet that is exactly what God calls of us.

John 15:12-13 ¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (NLT)

"Lay down one's life for one's friends" Not such an easy thing.  Maybe God's calling you to lay down your life for a friend.  Perhaps not literally, but He's asking you to give up a relationship.  He's asking you to be friends with someone who isn't lovable.  To sacrifice your time. To give your shoulder.  To tell them "no".

True love isn't a romantic feeling for someone (Though trust me, I cannot wait to fall in love with my husband), because those will fade.  Love is being sacrificial. Love is choosing the highest good for the other person. Even if it's not what they or you want. 

1 John 3:18 ¹⁸ Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. (NLT)

Evilomics

Microeconomics. It hurts to even see that word on my blog...but! I have something very important that all of you should know: I have determined that economics are the worst kinds of evil! I have come to this conclusion while studying for my final.

One important concept of microeconomics is Game Theory-used in Oligopoly (basically when only a few major corporations run a market; like the auto industry) ((p.s. Oligopoly is a sweet word and I feel like it should be the new name of "Monopoly" the game.)).  But Game theory introduces the payoff matrix.  This matrix helps firms determine what route they should take. ...here's where the evil comes in...

Take an example from one of the sweetest heroes ever: Batman.  Specifically, The Dark Knight.  Now lets take a look near the end of the movie when Joker has the two ferries rigged with explosives. One ferry full of convicts, one ferry full of nice innocent people.  He gives each the detonator to the other boat. The Joker's game is that one has to blow the other up first in order to survive: if no one detonates on purpose then they all will die. Now we all understand the moral dilemma here...but economists don't!!

Here comes the payoff matrix:

Ferry 1	Ferry 2
		Don’t Detonate	Detonate
	Don’t Detonate	(0,0)	(0,1)
	Detonate	(1,0)	(1,1)

Now an economist would say, let's do what's best for us! The goal of the matrix is to determine the highest payoff (get a score higher than your competitor).  For Ferry 1, if Ferry 2 doesn't detonate, they'll choose detonate just so they can score 1.  Same with Ferry 2, if Ferry 1 doesn't detonate, they'll choose detonate.  No matter what each ferry does, it's in both their interests to detonate.  The "Nash Equilibrium" (What you're supposed to pick) would be (1,1), both detonate.  Everyone dies.

The Joker (arguably the best bad guy in the history of comics) was depending on the people picking the Nash Equilibrium because he was an economist.  Fortunately, there were no economists on the ferries and they did what was morally right! Batman ended up saving day and the Joker was owned.

Moral of the story:
Joker = Evil  
Economics=Joker  
Economics=Evil

My First Love

Motivation. Endurance. Fight. Keep running! Don't give up. Even Dory's "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming..." Doesn't anyone want to just give up sometimes?! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the world who wants to give up.

But in hearing my internal voice asking to give up, I questioned myself as to why I would think that. For me, it all boils down to that first word. Motivation.  What motivates me? Do I even have any motivation left? After hearing Pastor Ryan speak on living for Christ and what drives us to do so, I really had to re-examine my heart and find what my motivation to follow Jesus was.  Even my motivation to keep going on the path God has laid out for me. Honestly, I've never wanted to quit anything as badly as I've wanted to quit school. Quit Bellingham. Quit Washington. This quarter has sucked.  But tangent! Back to my heart question: what motivates me?

"Well to be a good Christian right?" "To know about Jesus more?" "To graduate so I can do what God has called me to do?" <------- These seem like reasonable reasons. I mean, aren't we called to be good Christians? Doesn't Jesus want us to know His Word, know what He did, know what He wants of us? Shouldn't making it through these next 459 days until graduation so I can go to Australia, where God has called me, be a good reason to keep persevering?

Maybe.

Actually not at all. Yes, they seem like very good reasons to keep just keep going; staying in this race even if I'm just walking.  But those things will never be able to motivate me to the point where I can keep walking. Knowing about God isn't going to sustain me (Before you turn off your computer, throw it across the room, and yell that Jessica is a heretic, please just keep reading! I'm making a point.). Yes it's important, but it's not the most important! Jesus calls us to remain in Him and His love, not "remain in knowledge about Me." (John 15).  Am I saying don't read the Bible? HECK NO! Devos are my favorite thing to do! And getting in the Word is essential to growth.  But! We have to be sure that our only motivation is to love and follow Him.

Let me give you another example from my life.  The past couple months, my motivations have been "to be a good Christian, to be the best worship leader I can be (And not in a prideful way. My heart really wants to worship God and bring people to His throne with me out of the way), and to get through college so I can be a pastor: God's calling on my life."  Can you see the problem with these statements? They all involve works, in doing something!

Ephesians 2:8-9 ⁸ God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ⁹ Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. (NLT)

Christianity isn't about works, contrary to popular beliefs and ideals. It's ALL about the relationship we have with God.  No matter what we do, good or bad, it will never affect the way He loves and wants us. He loved us before we even thought about loving Him back. 1 John 4:19.

Revelation 2:2-4 ²I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. ³You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. ⁴Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. (NIV)

I don't say that I've forsaken Jesus...but I have not made Him my first love. Oh He was up there all right, but He had competition. And that should not be so! I have been focusing on finishing school and being a good Christian so much that I forgot to focus solely on Him!!  This is why I haven't been motivated. My motivation came from something other than Jesus.

So what motivates you? Being the best Christian you can possibly be? Doing well in school? Pleasing family and friends? Pleasing pastors? Does the feeling of satisfaction (or the hope for that feeling) motivate you? Graduating school? Making it out of your hometown? Reaching that next level in faith? Pursuing your future? Perhaps that future that God has called you to.  None of these things can keep you running. The only thing that counts is to love and follow Jesus. Jesus!  Just love Him.  We always say that Jesus should be your #1, but in reality, He should be your only One.

Love and Follow Him and everything else will fall into place by His will. You'll be that mature Christian by default. You'll graduate because you're pursuing Him and that gives you the strength to keep going. You'll accomplish the goals and plans God has placed in your heart because all of the sudden the means to accomplish those goals will be provided by Him.  But  He has to be your Motivation. He has to be your First Love.


Hebrews 12:1-2 ¹ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. ² We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. (NLT)