Alone? Or Lonliness?

I have recently been savoring a book given to me by one of my best friends Liz called The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord.

“Could it be possible that being alone does not have to mean that you are lonely?”

I’ve read this book before. I’ve read countless lines like this before. But in the season of life I am in now, the timing of this sentence could never have been more perfect. “Could it be possible that being alone does not have to mean that you are lonely?” I know it is not just possible, I know it can be true.

Everything about this next leg of this race is new for me. After 19 years, I no longer live with my family, no longer live in Oak Harbor, no longer have a solid church family right at my doorsteps, and I am no longer in an easy, comfortable place. And though I have felt a much deeper loneliness before, I still feel alone at times. Transition has been more of a challenge than I had anticipated. I am very blessed and I have family and friends who support me no matter what, but yet, sometimes I still feel isolated. Perhaps it is because I do not see them on a daily or even weekly basis. Regardless, I have been struggling with feeling alone. It is not the “I don’t have enough social time” or “I need to hang out” lonliness, but something deeper. I have been realizing that over the past year or so I had been fighting my “loneliness” with being social. I was spending as much time as I could with people so I wouldn’t feel lonesome. But that wasn’t it. It was not until I was forced into many quiet alone times (ironically) that I have discovered what the issue was. I was searching for community, friendship, relationship in people before I was searching for it in God. I took times of aloneness as a sort of solitary confinement; something that I could not enjoy. But now I realize that alone time is a time for growth. To be drawn closer to God.

Hosea 2:14 “But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there,” (NLT)

Hosea 2:14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her.” (NKJV)

Jesus is leading me to the desert, to the wilderness. It is here that He will draw me in, comfort me, and push me beyond what I perceive is possible. I’m being lead to aloneness, and I’m excited.

I am alone frequently. But I am no longer lonely.