Closed Fist

I have you ever gotten your hand caught in the cookie jar?

I mean literally. I guess the cookie jar wouldn't work...but for me, I got my hand caught in the candy jar.  You know what jar I'm talking about.  The one where the hole is just big enough to get your hand in, but not big enough so that once you grab a fist full of delicious Tootsie Rolls you can't get your hand out. So infuriating!! Then you realize the only way you can get candy out is to grab one piece of candy at a time...and by then end of the process it's no longer worth it.  You're angry that you've only gotten two pieces out, your hand hurts from trying to force it through the small opening, and your mouth has yet to taste sweet success because you're so busy getting the little pieces of candy out you forget your main goal in the first place!!

It seems like life simulates this scenario all too often.

We want something, but no matter how hard we hold on to it, how hard we pull out, we can't have it. Our hands are literally stuck.  Next thing we know, is we're miserable.  We've got this jar attached to our hand inhibiting us from doing daily activities.  Eating, shaking new acquaintances' hands, opening doors; all become a challenge.

Just like eating with a jar attached to our hand is next to impossible (Assume that both hands are in jars. We're a greedy culture.), so can nourishing our spiritual and emotional health.  When you hold on to a relationship, a dream, a plan that God has called you to let go, you'll only inhibit your life. Holding onto what you cannot have begins to harden your heart.  You become angry and hopeless because something that you want so desperately is in your hands, yet you are still unable to attain because your hand is stuck in a jar.  You begin to question God because you feel like you have a right (Is it not in your hand? Do you not have your fist wrapped tightly around it?).  Soon spiritual and emotional growth stop; you're so focused on what's "rightfully" yours and you wait for God to fully give it to you, and when He doesn't, you assume that you're doing something wrong.  Growth stops because you refuse to let it happen.
(Luke 9:23-25)

Keeping our fist in the jar also keeps us from meeting new people. Especially when we hold onto relationships. You can't shake someone's hand when yours is surrounded by glass. I know this from experience.  You hold onto a relationship, you hope that God will heal it the easy way, that things will go "back to normal", so you don't let go.  Meanwhile, all these amazing, new people are asking to shake your hand, but you won't get rid of that jar.  Perhaps the only way things can go "back to normal" is to let the one you love and care about to move on.
(Matthew 16:24-27)

Finally, having that jar on our hand inhibits us from opening doors.  We're so wrapped up in our predetermined plans that if God provides new opportunities we refuse to jump on them because we want what we almost have, but not quite.  Perhaps God is asking that you to join a small group, join a ministry, enter leadership, take a risk.  You have to let go of what you want in order to do His will.
(Proverbs 3:3-6)

Paul reminds us not to keep our fist in the jar.
Hebrews 3:12, 14-15 ¹² Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. ¹⁴ For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. ¹⁵ Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.” (NLT)

Instead we are to surrender everything to Him.
Romans 12:1  ¹ And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. (NLT)
(If you want to read more on my thoughts about surrendering, check out this blog entry!)

And in the end, we all know that letting go of our fist full of candy is worth it.  It obviously makes sense that if we just let go, we can get our hands out, feed ourselves, meet new people, and open new doors. And yet why are we still so stubborn to hold onto what's keeping us stuck?  Perhaps we're afraid.  Afraid that if we let go we'll lose it forever.  And there's a good chance that's true. But is losing it not worth the gain we'll get from following God's perfect plan?


Yeah, maybe we won't get those Tootsie Rolls.  But we will get what God has intended for us! Which is infinitely better.  It's like comparing Tootsie Rolls to Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream, which everyone knows there's nothing better than a hot slice of homemade apple pie with a scoop of cold vanilla ice cream!!!

Goodbye Tootsie Rolls. Hello Apple Pie Ala Mode!!!

1 Peter 1:6-7 ⁶ So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. ⁷ These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (NLT)

Mountain + Snow + Jesus = Humble Pie

This past Valentine's weekend I was blessed with the most awesome opportunity to lead worship at the high school winter retreat Snowed In.  It was incredible!!! God really moved! Not only in the hearts of the students, but in the hearts of the leaders, and in my heart.
(Picture above: Blayne (speaker), Myself, and David.)


As a worship leader you get a ton of spotlight. A TON.  Lead worship once and all of a sudden everyone knows who you are, knows you can play an instrument, knows you can sing, and for whatever reason, thinks your cool (which is a first for me, and I personally don't mind.).  But it brings me to the concept of humbleness, and how, as a leader in the spotlight, I should live it out.

Being humbled is often equated with being humiliated: getting embarrassed.  Which is true in many situations! But being humble and being humiliated are two different things!  Though, like I said, sometimes they do converge into the same instance.  Take for example one the most humbling, and humiliating, experiences I've ever had.  I had nailed leading worship for the first time by myself at the high school youth group: the Spirit moved, lives were changed, and I thought I was awesome.  The next week at Jr. High youth group I planned on doing the same thing.  I had the "I've got this all by myself" attitude.  Boy was I in for a huge awakening.  Practice that Tuesday went horrible! I couldn't focus, my band wasn't with me, I became frustrated, and then I quit.  Just like that.

That's when I got it.

Worship isn't about me as the leader.  Isn't about the band playing.  It's not even about the music. It's about Jesus, and ONLY Jesus.  This is the most important concept about worship leading!! For all you musicians, worship leaders, young and old alike, if you get anything get this: Worship is ALL about the G-Man, and absolutely nothing to do with yourself.  If you're not worshiping Jesus on that stage then don't be on the stage at all.  (But I'm diverging onto a tangent! This blog is supposed to be about humbleness!)
This last weekend at Snowed In, God showed me I don't need to be embarrassed to be humbled.  Thank You God!  As I was on that stage, worshiping my heart out and watching 100+ students and leaders worshiping their hearts too, I found myself incredibly humbled and amazed.  My Mighty God was using me!  A broken and imperfect being.

That's when I realized it seems that God uses me the most when I am broken, vulnerable, surrendered, and humbled before Him.  The whole week before Snowed In and every time I picked up my guitar I prayed that God would keep me humble and that everything was His. Every part of me, every fear, every hope, everything! How did I know that this is what would work, that God would use me even more? Because this is what Jesus did: He humbled Himself.

Phillipians 2:5-8  ⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  ⁶Who, being in very nature God, not consider equality with God something to be grasped, ⁷but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. ⁸And being found in appearance as a man,  he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! (NIV)

In this case, Jesus was not being embarrassed (though dying on the cross during the Roman era was incredibly shameful, this is not the point I am trying to make).  Christ "made himself nothing"!! God didn't embarrass Him with a horrible performance.  Jesus was humble because He gave up everything! Made Himself nothing.  And this wasn't exactly what Jesus wanted...making yourself nothing and surrendering completely is painful and difficult.

Matthew 26:39  ³⁹ He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” (NLT)
He prayed this prayer three times!! 
Matthew 26:44 ⁴⁴ So he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. (NLT)

But He did it, and the entire humanity was saved because of Him.  So are you willing to be humbled? To give up everything?

I know this is something I struggle with daily.  But God has called me to be humble. To surrender my hopes and dreams.  My wants and needs.  My fears and failures. To come broken to Him and give up everything.

There are some relationships I'm desperately trying to hold onto. God has called me to let go.  There are pride issues involving my performance in school. God has called me to let go.  There are desires for what I want to be doing right now.  God has called me to let go.  I have been called to make myself nothing and to humble myself.  And I want to!  But this road isn't going to be easy...it hurts a lot.  It's not fun.  But I'll have to continue to trust my Jesus and know His will is best.  I want His will to be done, not mine. 


Romans 12:1 ¹ And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

Amen.

Jesus, bless.
Heck yes.
Thank You for this grubby mess.
Amen.

A frequent prayer of mine lately.  Whenever I'm in a hurry and want to eat quickly, I pray this prayer.  Whenever I'm lazy and don't want to put a lot of effort in, I pray this prayer.  Whenever I don't take the time to think, I pray this prayer.  Not a very substantial prayer if I do say so myself.

I believe prayer is one of the most powerful and undervalued tools that the Lord gives us. But I know personally that I fail to have consistent and meaningful prayer.  My prayers are often short and silly like the one at the beginning. When they are more than four sentences long they are full of prayers of me, for me, by me: selfish.  While praying for my own spiritual growth and well-being is fine and necessary, I should also pray for more than just me.  Most of my prayers are written down in my journal (which is a great way to document my prayers so I can reflect later on down the road) but I rarely get down on my knees in reverence.  My God, recently, has been one where I send my complaints and requests...and that's it.

Jesus prayed constantly.
Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. (NIV)
Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. (NIV)
Luke 6:12 One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. (NIV)

He daily sought His Father; He had relationship with God!  Now Jesus' prayers were not wish-washy.  He did not merely just ask for God to "bless, heck yes", His prayers were full of passion and purpose.  In fact Jesus commands us to pray with purpose.

Matthew 6:5-8 ⁵"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ⁶But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (NIV emphasis added)

Luke 18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. (NIV)

There are many more scriptures involving prayer, how we should and should not pray, what to pray for, etc. (Romans 8:26, Colossians 4:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18...) and I could go on for quite a while.  But I'd rather you dive into God's Word yourself.  
The point is, prayer is very relevant and necessary step in our walk with Christ...and yet we so readily dismiss it as something insignificant.  Prayer moves mountains and parts seas.  It pushes us to pursue God, just as He pursues us.  It lets us see that God does answer our prayers and that He does hear us.  Prayer is powerful.

I have to push myself to pray more than just at meal times and my short SOAP journal entries.  I hope that my prayers will become more meaningful and passionate; that I do not just ask for little things, but plead and cry out to God for my dreams, family, friends, walk, anything I care about.  Prayer is more than a little two minute poem.  Prayer rocks foundations and draws me closer to God.  God has been challenging me to pray for an hour a week.  Not necessarily all at once, but spend an hour in prayer outside of my devos.  I'm excited to see what God's going to do and how He's going to use my prayer time.  And I'm excited for the ways He's going to change my heart as I draw closer to His. And with that, all that is left to say...Amen.



Hebrews 5:7 While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God. (NLT)